Hands up who has been on a diet?? Yep, I would say 90% of the population at some point has been on some form of diet or “eating style” such as paleo.
Whilst we can all say that it was purely for health reasons, the ultimate aim of changing our eating patterns, is to change how our body looks and “feels”.
A question for you, when you went on that diet, or new way of eating, did you find that when you did lose some weight, that you felt better about your body? Did you find that loving yourself was easier, or just happened?
I am going to make an assumption that the answer to this is yes? I know personally that when my body is at a higher weight, my self love lowers, and when I am smaller in weight, my self love increases. I respect myself more, have much more confidence (which is highly likely the reason that people treat you differently when you lose weight because your energy changes, your confidence increases), and believe and trust in myself more.
It is a crazy reality that most of deal with daily.
Our weight goes up, our self love goes down. Our weight goes down, our self love goes up. Not really an effective strategy!
The strategy we need to employ, is the exact opposite. We need to find a way to love ourselves fully when our bodies are carrying that bit of extra weight, to show compassion to ourselves.
Gaining body weight is a way that we hide from painful emotions that we are not ready to process and heal. Personally I call it a fat suit that I place on when I am scared, overwhelmed and unsure how to heal and process big events and emotions.
My current weight challenges began almost four years ago when in one six month period, I had one of my beautiful pups pass away, a week later my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and pass away (I was estranged from my family by choice at the time), a 26yo work colleague pass away and was being bullied in two different work environments. I recall catching up with some fellow eating psychology coaches at the end of that year and that said me to not be surprised if I gained weight without changing my diet. At the time I had gained 5kg and was unsure why as I was barely eating due to stress.
Fast forward a further three months, that weight gain had moved to 10kg without changing my eating habits. But at that point, I had also discovered a lump in my left breast and needed surgery. Three months after that, I had gained 20kg, was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, and my eating habits had changed. I embraced the eating phase I was moving through and allowed myself to over-indulge in any food, in any amount.
Three months after that, still not processing any of the events of the prior 15 months, I found myself with a second lump in my left breast requiring further surgery. Two months later, I was sexually assaulted by a man I believed I could trust and ended up in hospital with pelvic inflammatory disease. To add insult to injury, when he returned home to country of origin, he emailed me and said, whilst you are a beautiful person, men are visual creatures and you could do with loosing a few pounds…
By the end of that year, I had gained 30kg’s, and until this year, had not had the courage to face truly face the painful deep emotions these events created.
To be completely honest, my body peace and body love didn’t change, but my self love has. My self care routine dropped, my self worth was virtually non existent, my self confidence, yep, moving on, my self trust was low, my self belief extremely low.
All of these areas, are the core of what creates self love.
Last October I created a program to address all of these areas of self, The Self Love Soul Warrior Program.
The basis of the program is how to heal these area of self when you are faced with challenges with your weight, with food issues like emotional and binge eating, and you are encountering body image issues.
The next round begins February 14, what better day day to start than a day that celebrates everything to do with LOVE!
Are you ready to learn how to stop “weighting’ on self love?
Join me now by clicking on the link below!