My happy place!
It’s been a bit of a rough few weeks. Making the transition from employee in the corporate world to business owner has been an interesting journey….
It’s been exciting, liberating, empowering, freeing. But is has also been mentally challenging!
It has bought up a lot of ego based thoughts about whether I am good enough, will people engage with my work, will I make a difference to people, how to make money from my passion without compromising my values, etc, etc.
There have been A LOT of sleepless nights! Which of course, make it worse!
I have an amazing support team around me, and even when I don’t remember to reach out to them, they seem to know what I need to hear, and when. For that, I am extraordinarily grateful.
In the past two weeks since making the transition, I have also had a long term shoulder injury flare up big time. Now from a spiritual perspective, there are a lot of meanings about shoulders, and looking at the left shoulder, there is a lot about “carrying burdens, feminine energy, the mother figure, dealing with past issues, and of course, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders”. Umm, yep, can relate to a few of those, but with how sore it was, decided to head to the sports doctor having an x-ray and an ultrasound. Didn’t want to invest the time in digging deep into those issues! Had a business to run!
But yesterday, I had a session with my mentor / coach, and was telling him and he pointed out that whilst I had had some positive meetings with other wellness entrepreneurs in week one, that I had then gone into freak out mode at the true possibility that now I was following my dreams, and things were flowing as they should, let’s self-sabotage and do nothing instead! Ego trying to control and manipulate! I had instead of actioning said amazing possibilities, sat my butt on the couch and indulged in every mindless day time TV drama I could find, found myself googling characters, and generally, doing everything I could to procrastinate and extend the pity party as to why things now weren’t progressing!! Doh!!!!!! Ummm, you need to action things to make them happen!
Any hoo, after another sleepless of night of deep analysis of such a simple concept, and another mini session with my coach/mentor this morning, I felt moved to head to my happy place and just sit. Be present and let the thoughts of ego and control go.
My happy place……….The Beach!
When we were little kids, we had a holiday house in the beach side suburb of Mornington. It was HEAVEN! We would go running down to the beach, playing and investigating all day long. Laughing and enjoying life. Hours would go by. I think because of the abuse I was suffering at the time, this was my escape. A way to be an innocent little kid and just have fun.
As soon as my feet hit the sand at any beach now, I am taken back to that happy time. I feel peace. I feel surrender. I feel calm. I feel love. I feel connected. Time stands still.
Today though, it took a while for the noise in my head to quieten down.
Sitting at the beach, I was thinking of all of the things I should be doing, the guidance my coach had given me the night before and the additional guidance this morning, and was trying to “get it”. Then I remembered, there is nothing to get.
It truly is simple.
I took in a few deep long breaths and closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the waves coming in and rolling back out. I listened to the sounds of the many people walking by, the puppy dogs running around, the birds, the planes…..Then the sound of my breath, slowing coming in and out. I was present. I was no longer the drop. I had connected back to the ocean. I was one. I was once again, at peace.
Nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to fix, improve or change. The perfect, peaceful moment.
My true happy place.
As for my shoulder, strangely in the past 24 hours, it has been feeling a lot better….
And the business, watch this space! New Program launching VERY SOON!